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Every time I looked at her, she filled me with awe. She was a very strong lady, and the years of struggle to live hadn’t pulled her heart down, though she had been bestowed with unwelcome physical difficulties.
Yet, she was very determined.
I had always seen her dressed in white. A flowing white sari, carelessly draped over her well-built body, never fastened on the shoulders with a pin , a watch with a golden strap adorning her right hand, a small chain of rudraksha beads around her neck. And an occasional smear of chandanam or vibhuthi on her broad forehead. That was all what she was decked up with.
“Why doesn’t she wear anything colourful, Amma ?”, I once asked my mother when I was very young.
“She’s been like that ever since his death,” my mother replied. “I’ve seen her as a young woman too, she had knee-length hair that she usually tied in a neat braid. She was very beautiful, though she usually wore simple cotton sarees. But ever since he passed away, she’s been like this,” she said, and I saw her eyes were moist.
“She’s beautiful even now, Amma”, I consoled her.
Years passed by, and we lived through many seasons.
As the child in me blossomed into a woman, she was there, troubled by her share of ailments, but always being the undefeated warrior.
She never ceased to amaze me . The radiance of her will power , the life’s stories that she shared with me, and the lessons she tried to instill in my mind, all captivated me no ends.
Sometimes, she told me, that she saw so much of herself in me, which made me proud and thankful to her.
She grew tired as the years whizzed by and as she got admitted in the hospital one morning, we all sensed the inevitable.
I spent time with her, cheerfully talking to her and trying to absorb all the wisdom I could.
At night, my mother sat with her, as she breathed from the oxygen mask that the hospital provided.
One evening, when my mother came to the hospital with dinner and asked me to go home for the night, she was asleep. I wanted to wish her before I left, but it wasn’t proper for me to wake her up.
The next morning, she was gone.
Yes, my grandma left us, just like that, without even a good bye to me, her favourite granddaughter.
Or was I the one who was wrong ? Shouldn’t I have kissed her a good bye the previous evening ? My mistake, isn’t it ?
I went to the hospital to take her home, so that we could send her on the final journey of life.
As they wheeled her out on a stretcher and pushed it inside the ambulance, I looked at the peaceful pallor on her face.
Yet, my tears stayed away.
At home, my mother wasn’t able to talk, she was still trying to assimilate this significant loss ; so the onus of readying her for the final journey fell on me.
I lifted her up slowly, and draped her ever-favourite white sari around her, very carefully, yet as carelessly as she used to do it herself.
I smeared some chandanam on her broad forehead.
My mother joined me ,to have one final look at her, before she went to the land of no-return.
That was when my tears broke the barricades and flowed out in a sudden rush.
She lay there, in a peaceful sleep, as I looked at her through a curtain of tears.
She looked the most beautiful to me, then.
============================================================Rudraksha - literally ,' Shiva's eyes'; refers to the seeds of an evergreen tree, used as prayer beads in Hinduism.
Chandanam - sacred sandal paste from a temple
Vibhuthi - sacred ash from a temple.
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Gosh! This is so beautiful! Lovely post Sreeja!
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot, Gauri :) Welcome to my space !
DeleteSad but lovely post.
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot, Sulekkha :) Welcome to my humble abode :)
DeleteSuch a beautiful post full of love and affection for your grandma.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kalpana ji :) Yes, she was special :)
DeleteWhat a lovely tribute to your grandma and how she touched your life. How wonderful that you could prepare her for her final journey and could remember her as beautiful as she always was. ♥
ReplyDeleteYes, Kathy :) To me, she's always beautiful :) Thanks for the sweet words...
DeleteA lovely tribute to a lovely grandma
ReplyDeleteYes, Ajith sir :) Love her lots !! Thank you :)
DeleteWhat a heart felt tribute to your grandma! That was beautiful!! :)
ReplyDeleteWelcome to my space, pixie :) Thanks a lot for the nice words :)
DeleteYou made me cry.. Lovey post!! *hugs*
ReplyDeleteMy My ! Lavender :) Thanks for that !! Hugs to you too :)
DeleteI could relate to this so much.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you start being guilty when someone close passes away. Like here she felt she should have kissed her goodbye.
Yes, something most of us have gone through, at least once ! And ' She' is me, here :) thanks for the visit , Red handed :)
DeleteSad but a lovely post Sreeja !!
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot, dear :)
DeleteI can relate to this and I miss my grandma so much- so mortal are humans. I wish there is nothing like this exists in this world.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to my space, Uma :) Thanks a lot :) Yes, very true, we are so helplessly mortal, but memories aren't !!
Deletebeauty of satisfaction,a nice emotional story
ReplyDeleteThanks for the visit and the nice words,Cifar :)
DeleteVery beautifully rendered and descriptive post, Sreeja! Your grandmother would be proud:)
ReplyDeleteWelcome to my humble blog, Shailaja :) Thanks a lot for the kind words....yes, she was always very happy for me.
DeleteA very poignant and sad narrative. Brought tears in my eyes.
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot, Usha Ma'm :) I turned emotional as I wrote this...
DeleteJust liek she said, she sees a young you in her... Strong ,determined. :) Beautifully written love.. you do have a very good flair for writing :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the visit and the nice words, Tinu :) And yes, she often said that, partly because she was blinded by her love for me, as I was her first grandchild ;) ;)
DeleteBeautiful tribute to her beauty. Such soul depiction shows that such character never dies. Truly beautiful
ReplyDeleteHey, Welcome to this humble space, Vishal :) Thanks a lot for the nice and sweet words !
DeleteWelcome to the space, Neelam ji :) Thank you for the kind words...
ReplyDeletePoignant...a beautiful description of a strong willed woman. Loved the way you described her character and the way you've taken the prompt.
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot for the nice words and the visit, Diana :)
Deletesuch a beautiful post...Can I just say that I really liked it :)
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot, Naba :)
DeleteSad when our loved ones go...
ReplyDeleteSo true, Sugandha ! Thanks for the visit....
DeleteThis was the most beautiful tribute to your grandmother! I remember my own grandmother and all of the wisdom I hoped to learn from her, and how now that I am older I really wish I could talk to her.
ReplyDeleteWonderful writing, Sreeja!
Thanks a lot for the visit and the nice words, theWordPirate :)
DeleteSimply beautiful!!
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot, Shilpa Ji :)
DeleteThat was an extraordinarily poignant and moving post. Your love for your grandmother clearly comes through in this particular post :) Truly lovely piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteGood work ...waiting for more
ReplyDelete