Post # 9 . Invisible, Intangible..... #atozchallenge

“How did it go ?”, Roshni asked her, as soon as she entered their home.

She had been waiting for her to return, anxious to know how the meeting had progressed.

“Fusion is a good restaurant. Let’s go there on your birthday,” Shreyasi said, throwing down her bag and taking the water bottle from the refrigerator.

“ Arrrrey, I’ll kill you now. Who’s asking about Fusion ? What did he say ? How’s he ?”, Roshni asked, throwing a pillow at her.

Shreyasi giggled and took a gulp of water.

“ Just as I had expected. He wants me to understand him. And bring back the old sparks,” she said.

“ I don’t know why it is always you, dear. He himself could’ve tried to understand something. Somehow, it is always the women,” Roshni answered, her voice laced with irritation.

She just sighed.

“Aren’t you disturbed, Shreya? I can see you are,” Roshni placed a hand on her shoulder.

“ Not really. I’ve seen greater difficulties, haven’t I? I have a lot of faith, Rosh. If my destiny can carry me this far, I’m sure I can move ahead again. Just that all this feels so surreal at times,” she answered, squeezing her friend’s hand.

“ Still, I have my concerns, Shreya,” Roshni said, as they got ready to rest for the night.

Shreyasi kept on playing and re-playing the whole evening in her head over the next few days.

He had admitted his immaturity. His strong-headedness. He had been lonely, he’d said. With no one to turn to.

I was very much there, Aagney. Only if you had tried to reach out.

 I didn’t run away, Shrey.  I was forced to, he had said. What did that mean?

If he hadn’t run away, then who had  forced him to? What was the authority he was speaking of? She hadn't asked him that. 

For the first time, she felt there were some missing links. Or some links, which she didn’t know. Or may be, which she had ignored. Or left out inadvertently.

Had she understood everything wrong?

No, that couldn’t be. Hadn’t fate made her play a part in it?

She wondered why she felt drawn to him again, despite having gone through all that she didn’t want to remember anymore.

The invisible thread of attachment!

That was something she felt afraid of. She feared the bond, the intangible, yet strong bond of love that brought people together.

The  invincible power that bound us to each other, entangling us in a loop of emotions, the more we tried to free ourselves.

She closed her eyes, and after a long time, let the tears flow.

Insults and injuries, I can no longer bear,

I’m sure I’ve had more than my share!

I’m no island, I seek love

Blessings and boon from the world above….

In just  my dreams, I’ve seen my life

Free of worries, fights and strife!

Is it the high, distant sky that beckons?

If it is, I’ll not waste even the seconds!

To be contd....

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This post has been written for the A to Z Challenge 2015.

Post # 8 Hope.... #atozchallenge

As she took her portions of food, she was aware of Aagney looking at her.

“ You still don’t eat much, do you ?”, he asked when he saw the amount of food there was on her plate.

“No. Just for the hunger, that’s all. Not much concerned ”, she said.

“ Dieting? Beauty conscious and all that ?”, he teased her, trying to lighten the mood.

“ I’ve always eaten less. We’ve always had measured portions, see? And I’ve never been beauty conscious, whatever that means. I’ve just wanted to live and be alive, in all senses ”, she said, her tone silently fierce.

He looked at her, taken aback by this reaction.

She was looking at him, her gaze intent. For a moment, a flame seemed to take birth and die in her eyes.

That was when he saw it.

The scar.

“Hey, what’s this ?”, he asked, outlining the scar, with his finger barely touching her cheeks. “ How come I haven’t seen it before?”

“You haven't. It wasn’t there back then. That’s a gift I received later”, she answered, concentrating more on the bowl of tomato soup on the table.

“Very faint. I didn’t notice it that day at the Mall either”, he said.

“ That’s not surprising. I didn’t expect you to, either. And how would you? You were busy with the eyes and lips, weren’t you ?”, she spoke, taking care to sound casual.

He chuckled.

“Yes, I remember telling you, ‘delicious lips’. I honestly don’t know why and how I said that. I was that nervous”, he said and bit his tongue.

“ You used to say my lips resembled cherries. I remember perfectly”, she said, not looking at him this time.

“Yeah, of course”, he fiddled with his spoon and grew silent, the smile suddenly fading from his lips.

The onslaught of memories.

She glanced at him stealthily, from the corner of her eyes, and continued to eat.

“ You never told me how you knew about my friendship with Fr Varghese at the Church”, she said, when the silence continued for five minutes.

“ Ah, well, I told you I had seen you at the Aquarium. I’d seen your friend also. And later one day, I saw her at one of their showrooms, where I’m a usual customer. I knew Ancill, the Store Controller at  that showroom personally, so I enquired with him about her casually, telling him that she reminded me of one of my friends.”

“ That’s about Roshni.  How about me, my job and all that ?”, she interrupted him.

“ I’m coming to that.  This guy Ancill is a friend of mine, and he takes part in a lot of social gatherings and all that. While we were conversing, he showed me the snaps of an event he had attended some days back. A pep talk or some similar seminar for kids, at which he had been a volunteer.”

Shreyasi remembered. Some young boys known to Dr. Mathews had been there, bringing in donations from known quarters and helping with the arrangements.

“ And in one of those snaps, I saw you. With Fr Varghese. Handing over a Memento, or something like that.”

She kept quiet.

“ I knew Fr Varghese because I used to send donations to the Church, and I’d usually receive a personal note from him, thanking me. Somehow, that kind of inspired me to write that note, and I approached him and asked him whether he knew you personally enough.”

“What did he say ?”, she asked, eager to know.

“ He kept quiet for some minutes, and then he said that he knew you. That you’d been to the Church once. And then, I gave him the note sealed in an envelope and requested him to hand it over to you the next time you both met. I just hoped that you’d come to meet him again.  I’m thankful he considered my request. On the day of Easter, he informed me when I rang him up to wish him.”

Shreyasi smiled to herself, silently thanking Fr Varghese for his discretion.

“Shall we go now?", he asked. He’d paid the bill.

She nodded, rose up from the seat and moved out of the cubicle.

The car was waiting for them at the entrance.

“ I hope this is a new beginning, Shrey. I sincerely wish,” he said, as he drove out onto the road.

There’s no new beginning, until the old one ends, Aagney. But yes, there is a hope. Always.

She stared at the dark road ahead, smiling at the lights along the path.

Hard is my goal, harder, life’s course

Yet I plod on, with no time for remorse….

Heart speaks the most, but head rules over

Warning me at times, to take it slower…

Hope pulls me hard, keeping me strong

Faith stops me from doing things wrong…

How do I deny, that I find the world sweet!

It’s as sure as this moment, my goal, I shall meet !!

To be contd....
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This post has been written for the A to Z Challenge 2015.

Post # 7 . Green Signal, is it time yet ? #atozchallenge

Aagney came to pick her up at 6 p.m. sharp. 

Shreyasi was dressed in a Green Salwar, that hugged her body like  skin.  She hadn’t thought much about the attire, but Roshni had insisted.

“ You’re meeting him after a long time, Shreya. Dressing up a little would do no harm, would it ? And anyway you’ll be dressed in your uniform all day. Surely, you don’t want to go dining in your white overalls, do you ? Just take a few minutes after your work, and change into something colourful”, she’d said  when Shreyasi didn’t answer her query about the dress she was planning to wear.

And Roshni herself had chosen the Green Salwar with a Sequined Dupatta for her .

Her shoulder-length wavy hair brushed well, and a small bindi adorning her forehead, Shreyasi was ready in a few minutes after her shift got over.

“You look good,” Aagney said, when she got seated next to him in the car. She smiled at him, and adjusted her seat belt.

“So, off we go”, he said , driving out of the Clinic premises on to the main road.

“ Why don’t you speak to me, Shrey ? Have I become so much of a stranger for you ?", he asked her, when, even after ten full  minutes into the drive, she remained silent.

“ There’s nothing like that, Aagney. All this is happening so fast. I’m finding it a little difficult to believe”, she said, turning her face to look at him.

You have no idea, Aagney. You don’t know how much I want to say.

“ I know, Shrey. I know how difficult it is. I’m grateful that I met you again. I’m happy for that,” he said.

She just looked at him, and kept quiet. A faint smile began to play on her lips.

 “ You’re fine with this dinner, aren’t you?”, he asked, his tone not masking his hesitation.

“ Well, you didn’t actually give me a choice, did you?”, she asked, raising her eyebrows questioningly.

“ Oh ! No, I didn’t. I’ve been confused ever since I saw you. Everything came to haunt me back, Shrey. I’ve always wanted your company, and you know that. I didn’t think you’d deny me the pleasure”, he said, sounding apologetic.

She chuckled. “It’s fine, Aagney. Just teasing you,” she said.

When have I been given a choice ?

“Here we are, Shrey. Fusion, one of the best restaurants here. I’ve booked the seats for us”, he said, as  he stopped the car at the entrance. They got out of the car , and he handed over the car key  for Valet Parking Services, and gave them his visiting card.

The private cubicle which he had booked for them was well lit, with enough space for four.  There were tiny perfumed candles in glass chandeliers on a table inside. Once seated and comfortable, they got the menu card.

“ What would you like to have, Shrey?”, he asked her.

“ It’s your call, Aagney. I’m fine with anything”, she said.

He looked at her for a few seconds before placing the order.

“The food is good here, Shrey. Awesome. We have our corporate parties here usually,” he said, trying to continue the conversation.

“Seems a good place to me too. Nice to know you’re doing well,” she answered.

“Destiny,I guess”, he said.

“What is it that you wanted to talk to me about, Aagney ?”, she asked, after the waiter had brought them the starters.

“Shrey, there’s nothing much that you don’t know. I’ve been lonely all this while. With no one to turn to. With so much that had happened. Back then, I was so strong headed. So immature,” he said, his voice faltering.

“ That’s not an excuse for running away at that time, Aagney”.

Shreyasi had spoken before she could check herself.

“ I didn’t run away, Shrey.  I was forced to.  I’d had no other option. I couldn’t resist authority then”, he said, his eyes pleading.

She remained unmoved, though her eyes focused on him.

“ I want you to understand, Shrey. Please. I’m sure you will”, he said, taking her fingers in his.

Shreyasi looked at him for a long minute.

Inner turmoils, I’ll deal with you later.

And then she smiled. 

“I’m sure I will, Aagney. I’d like to, rather. Though, it’s a long way to go ,” she said, squeezing his hand.

“Thank you, for the Green Signal, Shrey”, he spoke softly.

Glimpses of the past, dance before the eyes

Clear as they are, not in disguise

Goodbye to those old days is a tough task

Though, it shall never be much to ask

Going with the flow of time, sure, is the best

Let’s be warm and cozy in our sweet nest

Gates of love and happiness  always remain open,

Enter the heaven, don't wait for the omen !

To be contd....

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This post has been written for the A to Z Challenge 2015.

Post # 6 A Formal Call, the First of many to come..... #atozchallenge

So he had seen her that day, at the aquarium.

Then why hadn’t he spoken to her at that time ? What had stopped him from confronting her then ?

She buried herself in these questions and many more, as she spent her next few days at work and home.

She could finally name the feeling that she’d been nagged with ever since the first day she saw him at the aquarium.

Restlessness. The unsettling feeling that arises in you when you know your goal is getting closer day by day, yet something stops you from going ahead and conquering it.

She had so much to do. To accomplish, rather. But she felt she had to wait. The time wasn’t ripe yet.

In the meantime, he had found her out, spoken to her and written to her.

She had shown the letter to Roshni that evening after returning from the Church, and she’d read it silently, before asking, “ So, what next ? ”

“ Destiny shall play again,” Shreyasi had answered, “ I have faith.”

And it did.

As a phone call.

Shreyasi rarely got personal calls while at work. Most of the calls were from her patients, or their relatives, who sought her advice. That was on the separate helpline they operated. Dr Mathew hardly spoke to her on phone. All their conversation happened in the mornings, when they met before Dr Mathew began his work. 

Roshni usually messaged her; she never called her on the phone as she knew her nature of work.

And there was no one now at ‘Aashraya’, who would call her , even though that was the only place she called ‘home’.

The only other person she spoke to, from either her clinic or from the Kids’ Home was Fr Varghese. That was usually in the afternoons , when she felt threatened by laziness. So it was a surprise for her when Ruby, her helper at the Clinic , brought her the cordless, signaling that it was call for her.

“Hello, Shreyasi here.”

“Hi , Shrey”.

She froze for a moment. She recognised the way of addressing. Only one person called her Shrey now.

“Hey, chill. How are you?”, he spoke again.

She swallowed her shock, and replied, “ I’m fine, Aagney. How about you?”

“ Fine. Shrey, relax. I just wanted to speak to you. I know you’ve read that note which I sent you. I’m sorry I couldn’t talk much that day at the Mall. Honestly, I didn’t expect to see you there. And believe me, I was nervous too, seeing you after a long time. ”

She remained silent. Yes, he hadn’t spoken much that day. But he had conveyed much in the few words he said.

Pretty girl. Big blue eyes. Delicious lips.

“What is it that you wanted to speak about, Aagney?”, she asked, her tone not giving away the tremors she felt inside. You have so much to know and learn.

“ I want to meet you again, Shrey. And talk to you. Like how we used to. I want the spark back,” he said.

She didn’t answer. Instead, she closed her eyes to stop them from burning more.

 “ Shrey, will you join me for dinner ? Tomorrow ? Please ?”, he asked, his tone smooth, anxious.

“ Why, Aagney ? What do you think it is going to change?”, she asked, her voice firm this time.

“ There’s nothing that time can’t heal, Shrey. I told you, I want the good times back”, he replied.

She knew she had to answer. She waited for a few seconds before speaking.

“ Yes, Aagney. We can talk. We’ll meet. Where are you taking me for dinner this time ?”, she spoke, calmly.

“ Thank you, Shrey. Thanks a lot. I’ll pick you up from your Clinic tomorrow. At 6 p.m. We’ll go to Fusion, at Al Jaddaf ”, he said.

“ Ok, Aagney. I’m disconnecting the line here. I have patients waiting,” she said, and hung up, without waiting for him to mouth a ‘bye’.

“ He wants to dine  with me . Tomorrow. Details later,” she messaged Roshni ,as she walked into her washroom, his voice ringing in her ears.

A date. With him. After a long time.

She flushed her face with cold water, and looked at herself in the mirror.

At those big blue eyes and delicious lips  he had spoken of.

And the scar that ran from her temple on the right side of her face, down her cheeks, right to her chin.

Faint, yet visible.

Like all those memories.

Fading away is never a choice,

Stay bright and speak out  your voice….

Faith works wonders, they always say

All that happens is just God’s play

Fate brings us together again,

I still feel it’s a boon, not bane

Fills me with hope to conquer the goal

That’s the way I can soothe my soul !

To be contd....

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This post has been written for the A to Z Challenge 2015.