A to Z Series Post # 15 - the Obvious and the Not so....

Dadima’s funeral and the associated rites were finished in the days that followed. I had to perform them, as my father ,her only son, had passed away some years back.

It took me some time to get used to the fact that she was no longer there in the mortal form, but in my heart I knew her soul would be my guardian angel as long as I lived on this earth.

The ancestral house where Dadima lived was locked, and the key handed over to her companion, Lakshmi Mausi, so that she could clean the house from time to time. We would stay there on our annual visit .

Soon, I returned to Dubai with Kamini, back to my job and my mundane existence.

And back to Mahita.

Her smile sent warm waves of reassurance through my heart, and I basked in delight. Her presence was all the more invigorating to my tired soul.

But what astonished me was the change in Kamini.

I would pick up a fight with her on small pretexts.

I wanted her to shout, scream, and react.

I wanted her to accept the fact that she was the wrong one in our marriage.

I wanted her to know that she was free to walk out of our relationship if she wanted to.

But she defeated my purpose.

She would remain silent, docile, not retaliating to anything I said.  As if ,accepting everything.

This irritated me, but I couldn’t react, because she wouldn’t do anything to provoke me.

I wondered why she had changed so much. Earlier, she would at least reply, if not react.  But now, all that she did was to look at my eyes when I was angry, and wait for me to complete before getting up and moving elsewhere.

Was this her way of perfect cold-shouldering ? Or was she planning something ? I couldn’t say.

Days were moving fast, and before we knew a month passed since Dadima’s death.

My feelings for Mahita were growing stronger day by day, and over one of our tea-time conversations, I brought out the topic again.

“ Mahita, I’ve told you once, and I repeat it. I love you,” I said. This time, I was quite sure of the way I spoke.

She remained silent for a moment, and started to say something.

I stopped her with the gesture of my hand.

“ Come on, Mahita. I don’t want to listen to your philosophy about love and friendship and all that. I know what I want from you. Not just friendship and the kind of love you seem to think of. It is Love, as in companionship. Long lasting love,” I spoke in a single breath.

“ Vinod, stop talking rubbish, please. You’re a married man, and I’m a married woman and a mother,” she said , her voice stern.

“ But my marriage is in shackles, and you’re a widow”.

I regretted it the moment it escaped my tongue and lowered my eyes.

Oh, I had said that to her. I couldn’t forgive myself.

I stole a glance at her. She was looking at me, stony faced, her brown eyes penetrating into mine.

” I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that”, I said.

“ It’s fine, Vinod. It’s not like you said something wrong. I’m indeed a widow, and I don’t mind accepting that,” she said, her tone unwavering, though I could see the hurt in her eyes.

“ I saw your couple pic inside the book I took,” I clarified. “ I had seen your insurance form long ago, that’s how I knew Mohan was no more,” I added.

She nodded. “ I thought as much,”  she said.

“ And as for your marriage, I don’t know about that, so no comments. But what I don’t understand is that how your failing marriage and my widowhood should make you love me. I find it strange, Vinod”, she spoke.

“ It’s obvious, isn’t it ? We both are in need of love,” I answered.

“ There you go, Vinod. You always go behind the obvious and forget that there’s much  more beyond that. Did I tell you I’m need of the kind of love you’re speaking of ?  For me, you’re a dear friend, and shall remain the same for my life. I’m accepting your deep understanding and friendship, Vinod. That doesn’t mean you need to fall in love with me, “ she said, and rose to go.

Again the same dose of philosophy !

But no, I wasn’t going to turn back.

Love me, she will.

I was sure.

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Linking this to A toZ 2014 and the Ultimate Blogging Challenge.