A to Z Series Post # 17 Questions ? !!

I didn’t see Mahita at office the next week, as she had to be away at the showrooms where our new computer systems and ‘Points of Sale’ systems were being installed.

But officially I was required to speak to her over phone.

What astonished me was the fact that, despite the differences of opinion that existed between us, she never spoke to me in a harsh tone. She was her usual cheerful self, and her ringing laughter assured me that I hadn’t yet lost the friend in her.

May be it was this, that made me confident that she’d one day come around to accept my love in its sense.

But I couldn’t forget the fact that she had told me, flat on my face, that I didn’t know enough about Kamini.

True, that Kamini’s changed behaviour puzzled me. But that was because I hadn’t bothered to ask her what she was up to.

I had lived more than a decade with her, and I knew her in and out.  

For all that I knew of her, she was committed to the social service wing of her Hospital. I didn’t care if she was, or if she wasn’t.

But Mahita hadn’t even met Kamini, then how could she tell me, the husband in question, that I didn’t know my wife enough?

What did she know of the love between me and Kamini, that was now not more than a dried up stream ?

What did she know of our relationship.

Nothing.

But she would know now, from me.

This was my decision when I rang the doorbell and stood waiting for Mahita to open the door.

As expected, she opened the door and her smile was warm as she invited me in.

She’s gorgeous, I thought. You’re here to talk to her, don’t start melting now, I admonished myself.

“ Can I talk to you for sometime?”, I asked her, as she brought me tea and sandwiches.

“ Sure, as long as you don’t keep talking of your love for me”, she said with a smile.

“ You told me I don’t know anything about Kamini. I just wanted to tell you about her,” I said.

She nodded.

Then, I started speaking. 
I spoke for a long time. 
I told her how I’d had to marry Kamini because of my grandfather's wish, how I thought I would love her for what she was, and how I had initially succeeded. 
How Kamini was not the kind of woman I had imagined as a wife.
And most importantly, how she wasn't ready to don the role of a mother.
How that had led to the lifelessness in our marriage.

And inevitably, how I found out that she, Mahita, fitted my perception about wife.

Then I told her how much I loved her.

She gestured me to stop.

" I have heard all that you spoke about your life, Vinod. To that extent, it's fine. But again, I don't see why you should stop loving Kamini all of a sudden. Why don't you try to see things from her perspective ? Perhaps that could change your thoughts, too", she said.

" I do try, Mahita. I have, in the past. But it didn't bear fruit," I replied, exasperated at her preachy tone.

"Then, I must say this, Vinod, that you've not tried as much as you ought to have," she replied, with the same calmness.

This provoked me. I had taken so much effort to convey my feelings for her, and she was advising me, on my face. My ego was hurt.

" Enough of your advice, Mahita. You've been a widow for what, 5 years now ? May be  a little more than that  ? Probably you haven't known the love of a man for a long time now, that's why you are disregarding my love . The way you're ignoring my feelings , I think you can't feel love at all. Can you ever love a man ? ", I voiced out questions one after the other, some making sense, some absolute non sense.  Even I could feel it.

She maintained her composure for a moment, and then spoke.

" You're speaking to a woman, who was married at 19 and widowed at 21, Vinod. I've been alone for almost ten years now. I've known the love of a man, and I know how to love, so don't question that. And my denial is precisely because, I know. I know what it is like to love, and I also know what it is like to lose someone you love, " she said.

I looked at her for a long minute. 

In my mind, another question had raised its hood. 

If she had been alone for more than ten years , how would she explain the six-year old, who was her son ?

_________________________________________________________________________________

Linking this to A toZ 2014 and the Ultimate Blogging Challenge.